this post was submitted on 23 May 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 161 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 21 points 2 years ago
[–] KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world 73 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Easy test: do the parts still have cum stains on them?

[–] herrcaptain@lemmy.ca 100 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Obviously the Theseus gnomes account for that. They're goddamn professionals.

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But then it's not your cum anymore

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 years ago

They're very thorough.

[–] ladicius@lemmy.world 69 points 2 years ago (2 children)

That's psychosis, isn't it.

[–] Donkter@lemmy.world 37 points 2 years ago

Psychosis and/or schizophrenia. This is a more common type of schizophrenia as opposed to hearing voices etc.

[–] banazir@lemmy.ml 27 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Delusional misidentification syndrome is an umbrella term … for a group of four delusional disorders that occur in the context of mental and neurological illness. They are grouped together as they often occur simultaneously or interchange, and they display the common concept of the double (sosie). They all involve a belief that the identity of a person, object, or place has somehow changed or has been altered. [Author] Christodoulu further categorized these disorders into those including hypo (or under)-identification of a well-known person (Capgras delusion), and hyper (or over)-identification of an unknown person (the remaining three). As these delusions typically only concern one particular topic, they also fall under the category called monothematic delusions.

Interesting!

[–] lapislazuli@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 years ago

"Syndrome of delusional companions is the belief that objects (such as soft toys) are sentient beings." Wait so does Calvin have this?

[–] yogsototh@programming.dev 8 points 2 years ago

This article is awesome.

This put a light on Twin Peaks world and more generally David Lynch work. I think most of these delusions are present in his movies.

[–] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 62 points 2 years ago (1 children)

be me

using pc

need to pee

pees

Am I the only one who initially thought anon peeded his pants?

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It never actually says he didn't piss his pants, just that he left the room briefly. It's a greentext so for all we know he only left the room to get someone to help him change his diaper lol

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 2 years ago

or get a mop

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 48 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Motherfucking Theseus gnomes. Always fucking shit up. They keep switching out my testicles. I have no idea where they came from.

Also, I thought it said thesaurus gnomes the first time I read it, which is still kinda funny.

[–] KreekyBonez@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

it's funny, comical, and humorous!

[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 years ago

Mirthful even!

[–] Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Okay, I know how to stop them. I'll tell you the steps one at a time. First, take your meds.

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 11 points 2 years ago

Don't listen to this fool with his big pharma lies, what you gotta do is cover your computer desk with a layer of spray on glue, when you leave those little shits will come and get stuck, now you have your own magic prisoners!

I use mine yo help with small things, one of them is amazing at painting nails. Best 5 bucks I've spent.

[–] Itte@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 years ago (8 children)

Wait for them to kick in. An hour should be plenty.

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[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 37 points 2 years ago

Take another hit of DMT, anon. You just need to break through.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Easy, check your cpu's cache. Also the unused portions of your disk and memory.

[–] Reddfugee42@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Similarly, I'm pretty sure I've been raped by a ninja but how would you know?

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[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is this why sometimes my computer says I don't have permission to access my files?

[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

You're not the administrator anymore dummy, the gnomes are. What you gotta do is wait until 3 am (peek gnome hour) and wait for them to emerge, hold one hostage and demand that gnome tech support reinstate you as admin. It's pretty easy really, just use pepper jack cheese as bait, gnomes fucking live ppj cheese

[–] MxM111@kbin.social 17 points 2 years ago

They also replaced every neuron in his brain.

[–] erusuoyera@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 years ago

Glad that's not happening to me. I've had the same PC since 2007.

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

you gotta put a piece of tape on there. if the tape moved then you know they did it

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What if they replace everything even the tape?

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

I don't think they would

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] GoodEye8@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What if they replace your name with your name. Is it still your name?

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[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This must be a Chad post... All true cultured gentlemen have a proprietary blend of dried Mountain Dew and Cheeto dust coating all parts of their PCs that no gnome could ever replicate! To make everything extra secure one should also leave some personal deposits on all components for true biometric verification!

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The gnomes are gifted semen forgers.

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"Gifted Semen Forgers" should be the name of a death metal band

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[–] nikaaa@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

Pee on it to mark it.

[–] maculata@aussie.zone 6 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Where the fuck did “Theseus Gnomes” come from?!?!

Ain’t no such thing in classical mythology.

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's made up, from the classic Theseus's Ship paradox.

[–] maculata@aussie.zone 3 points 2 years ago

Ok fair enough.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago

Look, machine elves are union. Some people cheap out.

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