this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Estiar@sh.itjust.works 139 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Fourty days later, Anon finds that his entire computer file system has been replaced with pics of Morgan Freeman

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 82 points 2 years ago (7 children)

Why aren't there viruses like this? Everyone wants to hurt your computer. Do something dumb like that.

Or a screamer virus. That could bring the world to its knees.

[–] HakFoo@lemmy.sdf.org 53 points 2 years ago (2 children)

My idea was a worm that just torrents random shit and dumps it on your desktop like a cat bringing you a dead bat with "I broughted you a pwesent ^w^" energy.

[–] Iloveyurianime@ani.social 13 points 2 years ago

Would be far more destructive on first world countries than third world countries

[–] Iheartcheese@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago
[–] Klear@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)

There used to be a shitton of silly viruses back in the day.

[–] Karyoplasma@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 2 years ago

The "you are an idiot" one with the pop-up that runs away from your mouse cursor was hilarious.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I wrote a "virus" in college, which basically:

  1. took a screenshot of the entire desktop
  2. displayed screenshot full-screen on top of other windows
  3. would only go away if you typed "@sugar_in_your_tea pwned me" or something

Oh, and it started on startup, so rebooting wouldn't fix it. :)

[–] savedbythezsh@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 years ago

I did one similar! Used autohotkey to hide the task bar at random intervals and pop up a warning that said "system out of memory". Only way to get it back was autohotkey or a reboot. It would restart daily and on login so it would keep happening. And I hid it as "Nvidia game scanner service.exe" in the Nvidia bloatware folder so it looked innocent. Had a good laugh about that one

[–] ma1w4re@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

bro I was thinking of this EXACT idea around the time you sent this message, how many more evidence do I need to conclude that this world is a simulation 💀💀

[–] SeekPie@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago

I think that's because most viruses aren't made for fun but for a specific reason (i.e to steal money from someone's computer).

[–] ma1w4re@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago

Thanks for an idea

[–] MHanak@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

May i point you to a thing i've once made:

https://github.com/MHanak1/pierogi-rust

[–] RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

How about one that jumpscares you. Or replaces windows with Linux

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That'd be hilarious lmao. Just a "windows is updating" progress bar while in the background it installs Mint, complete with transferring users/passwords, then "rebooting..." BAM Mint.

Idk how possible that'd be but a man can dream.

[–] rain_worl@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

previous license key invalidated, now you'll see what's the REAL ransomware ;)

[–] rain_worl@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

are you referring to a gnu system?

[–] RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No no, I’m talking alpine Linux

[–] rain_worl@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

linux is just the kernel!1!1!!1!1!1!!!

[–] javasux@lemmy.world 97 points 2 years ago (5 children)

Why did the folder have a file extension

[–] SirDerpy@lemmy.world 25 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

It's an ancient meme rooted in green text brevity, intentionally misused to form another ancient meme, leading through yet another to a fourth.

Appending .exe to whatever states that the contextually implied action was performed. For example:

payday

groceries.exe

steak on sale

dinner.exe

It's being used here to obfuscate a folder, as file format was used to obfuscate distribution of the LOIC in the picture of the "It's dangerous to go alone..." meme.

But, the cake is a lie. It was Morgan Freeman, all along.

I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in words, and it makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared higher and farther than anybody in a grey place dares to dream. It was as if some beautiful bird had flapped into our drab little cage and made these walls dissolve away.

[–] Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago
[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 23 points 2 years ago

maybe someone once performed a command like "for all files in this folder without an extension, append .exe to them" and didn't exclude subdirectories from that

no nothing similar has ever happened to me, nuh-uh, why would you ever suspect that

[–] Revan343@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well there's always self-executing archives

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] cheddar@programming.dev 2 points 2 years ago

Because that would be a folder extension in case of a folder.

[–] Bonsoir@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 years ago

Because there's nothing to prevent it.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 70 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Either brave or stupid plugging in a random flash drive they found on the street.

[–] Anivia@feddit.org 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Just plug it into an air gapped machine with a Linux live environment

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

How many people have one of those floating around?

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Surely lots. There are dramatically more phones on the planet than people.

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Average person? Probably not many. But it's also not some expensive, rare, hard to have thing. I have several raspberry pi's that could easily serve the purpose by just not connecting a new image to a network.

[–] brunchyvirus@fedia.io 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yeah the cheapest way, too bad the rpi 4/5 and future versions make it possible to write to the eeprom. Atleast it sounds like the newer ones have a way to make it write protected via a jumper or something.

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Sure, but I mean the chances of someone creating a virus specifically to run when plugged into a pi running pi OS or other Linux os with the purpose of attacking the eeprom, delivered by dropping usb sticks in public is so ridiculously small it has to be functionally non existent.

[–] sneezycat@sopuli.xyz 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Could be a USB killer, it'll fry your PC no matter what it's running.

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

True, you could probably solve that by breaking the casing off first if you're insistent on trying it. They don't look like a normal usb stick on the inside. Also I'd imagine it isn't really feasible to just go dropping them around but maybe you can get them cheap enough somewhere.

Yeah, not sure why you'd piss off random people with that, you'd be much better off doing some kind of ransomware attack.

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 2 points 2 years ago

That's also what I was originally thinking about.

I'd honestly just run it on my Linux laptop with the network disabled. It's old, so if it gets wrecked, I'm really not out much. And the risk of someone bothering to target Linux is incredibly small, so I'm comfortable with the risk.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 24 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Does Morgan Freeman run on Wine?

[–] Trail@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Worked for me on glorious egg roll latest.

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 4 points 2 years ago

I run Morgan Freeman in VirtualBox just to be on the safe side.

[–] sheepishly@fedia.io 15 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I have many a time been tempted to buy a bunch of cheap flashdrives, fill them with weird shit and just leave them in places.

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Be the change you want to see in the world.

[–] sheepishly@fedia.io 1 points 2 years ago

Researching the Zodiac killer and the Mansons has left me wanting to start a new countercultural movement. Just, you know, with less killing. ... At least a little bit less killing.

[–] pkmkdz@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 years ago

It's all fun and games until a black van starts following you

[–] Professorozone@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

Perfect way to get a nasty virus.

[–] willya@lemmyf.uk 8 points 2 years ago

And their identity everywhere compromised.