this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2024
295 points (90.4% liked)

Greentext

4430 readers
1591 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Kyatto@leminal.space 192 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"I'm over it"

"fuck you ... rot in hell"

Sure

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 34 points 1 month ago

Ashley wisely identified a 4chan bro and GTFO'd.

[–] rain_worl@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

"fuck you and rot in hell :)!"

edit: quotation marks added

[–] Kyatto@leminal.space 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

if that's where y'all aren't I'd consider it an upgrade

[–] rain_worl@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Kyatto@leminal.space 2 points 3 weeks ago

Sorry for misunderstanding ya, I just got off of a heated exchange where I was feeling a bit harassed so I took it wrong. 🫂

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 70 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I'm not sure why anon is making a big deal out of that. One time when I was on a second date, the woman told me that I seemed like quite a pessimist. I said "No, if I were a pessimist, I would never stop screaming." She didn't want to see me again but I still chuckle whenever I remember it.

[–] Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm not sure why anon is making a big deal out of that.

This Anon doesn't seem like someone with a healthy attitude toward relationships...

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 16 points 1 month ago

4chan anon in shitty attitude to relationships shocker

[–] state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The horrors persist but so do I.

[–] shani66@ani.social 2 points 1 month ago

The Dude abides.

[–] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 57 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Butter fly deez nuts?

That's not even clever. There's no way anyone even laughed. Which is also why he's so bitter and made up this story too probably

[–] babybus@sh.itjust.works 44 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I too only laugh at clever, highly intellectual jokes.

[–] Zkuld@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Agreed, and I will not hear any excuses that it might have been funny given the current mood that time.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Recently myself and two friends were at a restaurant, I bought one a Shirley temple against his will because my other friend and I were having them. This spiraled into us all ordering the same meal in the same way and for whatever reason we just could not stop laughing when the food was brought out and they asked "who had the (dish)", three separate times.

So I totally agree, non-funny things can absolutely be a ROFL given a certain mood

[–] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago

Butterfly deez jokes

[–] nutsack@lemmy.world 36 points 1 month ago (3 children)

yea a lot of people have kids and get fat

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

About 40% of Americans (which I assume OOP is) are obese, so yeah, most people get fat.

[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wouldn’t most need to be over 50%?

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 30 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

"obese" doesn't include the ones who are only overweight. If you add those up, it's over 70%

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

What's crazy to me is that most people think I'm "skinny," but until a few months ago, I was actually a few pounds overweight, and I could still stand to lose a few pounds because I'm right at the border between normal and overweight for most BMI calculators at 24.5-ish (haven't done an actual medical BMI/body fat calculation though). I'm tall w/ a 34" waist, which is near the lower end of the pants sizes when I go to the store.

So when you go out looking at people, just understand that the "normal" ones may also be overweight.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 1 month ago
[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Pregnancy and childbirth are quite hard on the body, it's one of the reasons it should be her choice whether to endure it. Of course, strict religions often don't allow her to choose anything else. Apparently her husband chose to default on his vows, though.

Raising an infant into a child and then an adolescent and hopefully an adult is also quite hard and ages a person considerably. It puts a strain on finances, especially as a single parent, such that cheap carbs are often chosen over more expensive fresh vegetables.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Maybe he died. OOP doesn’t seem like the type for nuance

And probably not truth. I'm guessing Ashley is actually relatively normal shaped, but anon is so bitter that he will focus on flaws. Ashley could also be happily married, but just not showing pictures of her hubby on her socials (I don't post pictures of my SO, and my SO doesn't post pictures of me, out of mutual respect for privacy).

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Got fat, 2 kids, no husband does sound like a doozy. It's not a direction many would like their life to go I'd imagine and it has to make dating a real bitch.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Good news, it's probably not true, Ashley probably has two kids, is fit, and has a happy marriage.

[–] GottaKnowYourCHKN@lemmy.world 1 points 3 weeks ago

This. And even if she did gain weight it's not a bad thing. For him, gaining 5 pounds on a woman probably equates to 200.

[–] Dave2@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 month ago

She knew he was too good for her

[–] pmmeyourseedbombs@slrpnk.net 18 points 1 month ago

„Fuck you Ashley!“ and „rot in hell!“ work as opposing wrestling chants

[–] EfreetSK@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Heh, is that Marian Labuda in the picture from movie 'Vesničko má středisková'?

[–] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago

That question is so specific it seems rhetorical