this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2025
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[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 207 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Tucker Carlson is "fake straight" and should answer questions about being straight.

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 117 points 1 week ago (3 children)

He does seem very interested in gay sex.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 49 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I love this concept. Tucker Carlson just being this closeted gay man, who's rejected by his own people, and can't come out as gay. So he just flirts in the worst way possible.

"Yeah? You gay? Yeah? Talk about it! Answer all the questions I have about what butt stuff is like!"

Meanwhile everyone else is just confused as hell.

[–] hanrahan@piefed.social 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Soutpark needs to redo the "Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet" skit with the Tuckster.

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[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago (3 children)

He kinda just looks it too. I know that's highly assumptions and shallow, but the gaydar has always gone off. Good skin, well-conditioned 80s dad hair, always dressed tidy but a little loose, definitely pays attention to his colours, good clothing combos and shoe choices too...

Like, just the article's pic, if you didn't know what Tucker looked like and had to guess who the bigot was in this pic...

I bet he gets around his house in cut-offs because he likes the comfort of shorts but denim is a real man's material.

[–] hanrahan@piefed.social 14 points 1 week ago

He needs a pair of these

[–] lime@feddit.nu 14 points 1 week ago

or he's a nevernude

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[–] Ohmmy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How it feels around dudes who see you enjoy a caramel latte instead of drinking it black for some reason. Like bro, some Italian grandma drinks espresso harder than you ever have.

[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Some Italian grandmas are harder than they will ever be too.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 week ago

Thicker mustaches, too.

[–] kurikai@lemmy.world 98 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Tucker will confim from his own experience?

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 41 points 1 week ago

No way he would turn down a stallion like me, thought Tucker. He must be faking it!

[–] dogsnest@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tucker's always there for the analysis.

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[–] PrincessLeiasCat@sh.itjust.works 44 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tell us what it’s like being a “fake straight”, Tucker.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's more likely he's a real straight, but no good at it.

Definitely gives off some incel vibes, I can see it.

[–] unknownuserunknownlocation@kbin.earth 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

So, what we're saying is...

he "will be caught buying crack from a gay prostitute going, 'we were just playing tummy swords.' And then he’ll deny it going, 'I did not perform a homosexual act.' 'no, you didn’t. Elton John is a homosexual act. You just blew that guy. It’s okay.'" -Robin Williams

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[–] TowardsTheFuture@lemmy.zip 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I mean if you haven’t seen the weird tucker Carlson thing with a bunch of greased up men in it uh idk man I don’t even remember what it was but boy does it make me not question that he understands what gay is… but uhhhhh it sure sounds like tucker just wants Pete to prove it by sucking his dick and is mad that he won’t.

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 week ago

Hey,
Thanks, and I don't think I have to watch it anymore!

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 31 points 1 week ago

No, Tucker, he still won't have sex with you. Not because he's not gay, but because you are a boner killer.

[–] abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 30 points 1 week ago (4 children)

"I want to know more about Pete Buttigieg's sex life" says Tucker Carlson.

It fact, this is the thing about queerphobes, they are obsessed with the genitals and sex lives of queer people to the point that they can't look at anything that involved queer people without thinking of gay sex. That's why they think sfw material that just happens to have a gay person in it is pornography, because they have sexualised queer people to within an inch of their lives.

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[–] 1D10@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago

So , a white, cis, hetro male is gatekeeping being gay?

Yeah that tracks.

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 1 week ago

"I did gay to be cool and popular. President, maybe!"
-- not gay Pete

[–] KeavesSharpi@lemmy.ml 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What a weird take to say out loud.

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[–] neon_nova@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I think we are all wondering one thing that Pete might be able to answer.

“When two gay men have sex, how do they know who's penis will open up to accept the other person's penis?”

-Dwight Schrute

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[–] INHALE_VEGETABLES@aussie.zone 20 points 1 week ago (12 children)

What questions would you ask someone if you thought they were fake gay?

Serious replies only.

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[–] BilliamBoberts@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago

What a weird thing to say.

[–] GroundedGator@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Yes, a capable politician is going to choose the hardest path to advance his career by claiming to be gay. Like playing US politics on super hard mode.

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[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

Tucker needs some new masturbatory material.

[–] popekingjoe@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

This man is so far in the closet, he's inside a closet in a random house in Narnia.

The fuck does he know about sex? His name is Tucker.

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 16 points 1 week ago

No Tucker, you first.

[–] radix@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Masculine manly Republican men stop thinking about gay sex challenge (impossible).

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago

"So you like having dicks in your mouth, but you don't currently have any dicks in your mouth. Curious.

[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago
[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Sounds like Tucker wants to get topped.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tucker Carlson claiming he has the power to issue the gay certification test is some wild shit. Is it just a slow news day at the propaganda factory or is he like trying to proposition Pete?

[–] Canconda@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tucker should bottom for Pete to own the libs

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[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

There's literally "butt" in his name. What about you, Tucker fucker? I remember that Putin interview when you took his cock so fucking deep.

[–] A_norny_mousse@feddit.org 10 points 1 week ago

There’s literally “butt” in his name.

This is the level we're dealing with not only with Cucker Tarlson but all of US, erm, "political discourse".

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[–] charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I always thought a bow tie was the same as a woman wearing a bandanna, a declaration that you are gay and that you have pride about being gay.

Oh, certainly not! True, all of the men I know now who wear bow ties regularly are gay, but not the guy I knew back when I was a high school senior. Y'know, good, solid, conservative Limbaugh listener. Had a girlfriend even—back home, while he was at college—you wouldn't know her. Real friendly, he'd invite me over to his apartment to talk computers, share his university Internet login password with me, that kind of thing. Yup yup. Totally. 110% straight.

[–] FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (3 children)

This seems like maybe the last thing we should be concerned about right now.

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[–] besselj@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 week ago

Did he get tipped-off by Lady Graham?

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

I would LOVE to see Tucker grill Buttigieg on gay sex. I hope he does it.

[–] Montreal_Metro@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tucker is the real hard gay.

[–] Sarmyth@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

Say say say say say.....hoooooooooooooo!

[–] chickenf622@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

Why even repeat this cunt's message even if you oppose it? Best thing to do is let this drug of society fall into obscurity where they can do minimal damage.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Why are we still paying attention to anything Tucker Carlson says?

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[–] slickgoat@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago

Obviously he considers himself an authority on gay sex.

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