this post was submitted on 27 Mar 2026
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[–] fun_times@lemmy.world 1 points 1 minute ago

Normally I get angry at these pathological liars but this lie is so absurdly stupid that it's actually funny.

Imagine someone driving their van to a parking lot near the white house and then going "Welp, better strap on my suicide nuke that will obliterate the entire city. I see no other way of doing this."

[–] KulunkelBoom@lemmus.org 4 points 1 hour ago

When will this lying sack of shit starting painting his face orange?

[–] Ilixtze@lemmy.ml 10 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

American civilians killed by Iran made nuclear slingshots and slippping on nuclear banana peels.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Won't be so funny when you fall and split your pants (nuclear-style).

[–] Ilixtze@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 hour ago

I will fall face first into a nuclear cream pie

[–] DMCMNFIBFFF@lemmy.world 6 points 3 hours ago

The US is incentivizing Iran to make nukes.

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 9 points 4 hours ago

"Vance says" is like when my 3-year-old blames everything on the cat. Who ate all the nesquik Jonathan, was it the cat, or was it you with nesquik on your face? Who can say.

[–] root@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

The fear mongering

[–] Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 15 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

Thats.......not how nuclear arms work.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 hours ago (3 children)

Isn't the smallest effective nuke the Davy Crocket? Pretty sure it's warhead is still the size of a large hardcase suitcase.

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 1 points 52 minutes ago

If the US is saying Iran could do it, the US has probably already figured it out. Fallout is getting to be too damn real

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

SADM. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Atomic_Demolition_Munition

the M388 looks small because you're used to seeing normal recoilless rifles, not the mongo m29 one used to propel the M388 warhead on the Crocket..

https://www.warhistoryonline.com/weapons/davy-crockett-weapon-system.html it's certainly still 'small' for a nuke, but iirc the sadm is smaller.

[–] VictorPrincipum@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Isn't that from the 1950s? Maybe top secret tech has progressed since then.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

It's from the 50s but as I understand it nukes as we have them now require certain physical properties and dimensions to work with that being about as small as you can get. Anything smaller and the reaction either fizzles out, you get a dirty bomb, or the explosive yield is worse than traditional explosives of equivalent size. To make it any smaller you'd need a fusion bomb most likely.

[–] noname_no_worries@lemmy.world 1 points 23 minutes ago* (last edited 20 minutes ago)

You'd still need a fission bomb, to initiate the fusion reaction.

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 3 points 5 hours ago

Right? Nuclear arms are supposed to be on arm sleeves, not vests.

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago
[–] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 21 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 8 points 6 hours ago

The demonic ritual of human sacrifice

[–] Paranoidfactoid@lemmy.world 22 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (3 children)

Maybe a dirty bomb with nuclear materials, but an actual fission bomb on a vest? No. Never mind they don't have the enriched fuel, never mind just building a working device would be extremely difficult for them and that would be large like the Hiroshima bomb.

This is Iraq Weapons of Mass Distraction all over again. Fuck this administration.

[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 4 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (4 children)

The US made, in its dr. strangelove years, 2100 "davey crocket" backpacks that were 51lbs. The suicide vest is an arab insurgent tool, and meant to be much more discrete.

Iran is pretty good at missiles, and 4 weeks ago, and for last 30 years, was supposedly 2 weeks away from a nuke, as well as having a thing against Israel.

[–] DMCMNFIBFFF@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

FWIW, wp:Suitcase nuclear device.

Allegations were made in the 1990s that Israel had developed suitcase nuclear bombs during the 1970s.[28]

[–] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 5 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

yeah the idea that Iran would use humans as delivery mechanism for nuclear weapons is a form of racist fetishization. it's maddening, this man. but then. i'm appalachian. i'm the hillbilly that racist carpet son of a bitch hayseed spoke ill of in his book. and i swear to GOD that man put soap in the cast iron skillet i'm gonna hit him in the face with

[–] Corn@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Soap is fine as long as you have a complete seasoning.

[–] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

yeah but you just know he'd put an old cast iron dutch oven straight in the dishwashes and then the cupboard

he whistles in the woods at night and in the house in the day

he painted his backdoor blue

he shoots birds at the window with a bb gun

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

...whats wrong with a blue backdoor?

[–] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 hours ago

appalachian folklore. it invites vile spirits into your home

[–] Paranoidfactoid@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

A backpack device is BIG. It could not be concealed like a suicide vest. It also requires nuclear materials (plutonium) and a specialty implosion design and triggers Iran does not have.

[–] lechekaflan@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

An Atomic Demolition Munition was nearly the size of a 55-gallon drum and came in two pieces for making it easier to transport.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

The nuclear vest bomb was in a movie I have a feeling have just watched.

[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago) (3 children)

It is actually possible, though it would stretch the definition of "vest." It's not something that can really fit on a vest, but I suppose you could hide it in a fat suit, a wheelchair, or a fake pregnancy belly.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/W54

The W54 was a 1 kiloton bomb that weighed a bit over 50 lbs. It was built to be a man-portable demolition charge. It's certainly possible for something like that to be built in a way that could be concealed on your person.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I love how inconspicuous it is:

Like something from Looney Tunes.

[–] WoodScientist@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Yeah. I'm imagining a suicide bomber wearing a huge fat suit like Mike Myers wore when played Fat Bastard. Just a giant fake belly with a literal nuclear bomb concealed inside.

Though really, I think the real problem with a "nuclear suicide vest" is simple practicality. Like, what's the actual point? The whole point of a suicide vest is to be able to smuggle explosives into an area where they'll do the most damage. A guy holding a bomb in his hands won't be let into a crowded bus. Someone holding a pipe bomb is going to cause people to run away from them screaming. A suicide vest bomber seeks to sneak into a crowded space densely packed with many people. Suicide bombers need to get close to large numbers of people. They need a bomb that can be concealed on their person. Otherwise they end up doing no more damage than someone could with a handgun.

But a nuke? You don't need to sneak the nuke into the stadium. You set it off five blocks away. It doesn't need to be concealed. If you want to deliver a terrorist nuking, you would instead load it on the back of a truck with heavy radiation shielding. You don't try to sneak it in to a crowded location. You just try to drive it into a dense urban area or near a critical piece of infrastructure and hope to not set off any radiation detectors along the way. A nuclear truck bomb is a reasonable fear. A nuclear suicide vest is laughable.

[–] duncan_bayne@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago

It’s not something that can really fit on a vest, but I suppose you could hide it in a fat suit, a wheelchair, or a fake pregnancy belly.

Maybe that's why people keep backing away from Trump. It's not incontinence, it's their dosimeter badges.

[–] Paranoidfactoid@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

They cannot build a W54. This would be an early prototype device and that would not fit on a vest. Iran only has enriched uranium, not plutonium (according to news reports). It takes a great deal more uranium than plutonium to build a bomb. About 65ish kilos of +90% enriched for a uranium bomb.

The W54 is a shaped charge implosion device. To build a W54, they'd need plutonium. And the trigger to detonate shaped charges at the right time in the right order. Plus, they need a neutron moderator to limit criticality so it doesn't detonate with the full potential of the nuclear material. This is all well beyond Iran's capabilities.

Russia could do it though. Probably China too. North Korea? I think not.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Gun-type nukes are relatively easy to make and can be pretty compact. The hard part is getting the plutonium

[–] NauticalNoodle@lemmy.ml 11 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 4 points 8 hours ago

I mean you could microwave your lunch at your desk, this is big

[–] WandowsVista@lemmy.world 14 points 10 hours ago

at this point, he's just my mom's facebook news feed in human form.

... and unfortunately it's working.

[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 18 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

JD Vance also claims he's capable of pleasing his wife.

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