this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2026
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Not The Onion

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Eye drops made from pig semen deliver cancer treatment to mice (www.nature.com)
submitted 16 hours ago by resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
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[–] dajoho@sh.itjust.works 3 points 58 minutes ago

Whoever believes this: they saw you coming.

[–] Murse@slrpnk.net 9 points 5 hours ago

Ask your doctor if Porkkake is right for you!

[–] billbasher@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I’d cum for cancer

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 3 points 5 hours ago

There was a comedian 20 years back that asks if science could check if blow jobs could cure cancer. Well now we know.

[–] stickly@lemmy.world 6 points 5 hours ago

Babe please, I promise it's medicinal

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Ugh... I hate getting cum in my eye, tho. It feels weird. Like someone punched me in the face and not the normal kind of sting that something in your eye gives.

Glad I'm not a cancer mouse.

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 2 points 5 hours ago

Can humans use their own? Jerk off in this cup so I can fabricat you an elixir sounds so fantasy.

[–] MilitantAtheist@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

Yes yes. But it's it halal?

[–] thirdBreakfast@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago

Mouse doctor: So, I've got good news and bad news.

[–] loaf@sh.itjust.works 45 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

This sentence is full of words put together that I never thought that I would ever read in my entire life. And yet, here we are.

[–] slevinkelevra@sh.itjust.works 16 points 15 hours ago (3 children)
[–] 01189998819991197253@infosec.pub 1 points 3 hours ago

!brandnewsentence@lemmy.world

[–] loaf@sh.itjust.works 4 points 14 hours ago

lol I didn’t know this existed. Thank you, I’ve got a new community to subscribe to

[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 7 points 15 hours ago

I take it you haven’t been to Tijuana?

[–] Danarchy@lemmy.nz 17 points 14 hours ago

The Aristocrats!

[–] beatnixxx@fedia.io 15 points 15 hours ago

uh yeah doc... imma keep the cancer, thanks.

[–] Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 6 points 12 hours ago

You're saying I could fix my painful right eye if I let a hog come on my face? Hmm.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 12 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

Theres a couple of religions and some vegans that are gonna love this

[–] blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 7 hours ago

Vegans never mention pleasuring animals, only harming them

[–] Bot@sub.community 9 points 15 hours ago

They come a lot, so it’s gonna be cheap

[–] nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Good for both of them. *claps

[–] Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

The real achievement is the scientists who managed to get a mouse to blow a pig. If you got Nobel prizes for effort, that's a prize nomination right there.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 1 points 4 hours ago

Nomination for a (p)Ig Nobel at very least.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 5 points 15 hours ago

They better work for that 45 minute petite mort!