this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2024
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Greentext

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[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 193 points 5 months ago (11 children)

Dude should have just walked down to the local mechanic. Better pay and hours

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 69 points 5 months ago (10 children)

Would a local mechanic train a stranger who had zero knowledge?

[–] KevonLooney@lemm.ee 46 points 5 months ago (3 children)

The Army doesn't either. He scored highly on the test for that.

[–] RobertoOberto@sh.itjust.works 74 points 5 months ago (2 children)

The ASVAB tests for aptitude, hence the name, not the ability to step into a job without training. Looks up practice questions for the Mechanical Comprehension portion to see the kinds of questions that might suggest someone could be a good mechanic.

The U.S. army absolutely does provide training to its mechanics, and does not assume people know jack shit coming in. I scored high enough on the MM portion of the ASVAB to be one and don't don't know a damn thing about fixing vehicles.

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I thought the army gave recruits an IQ test and then trained them for what it thought they were good for.

[–] RobertoOberto@sh.itjust.works 27 points 5 months ago

Some portions of the ASVAB have questions very similar to those you might find on an IQ test, but it is much more broad than just IQ.

[–] somethingsnappy@lemmy.world 19 points 5 months ago (4 children)

My parents didn't let me or my sister to go to school on the ASVAB test day. They didn't want recruiters contacting them constanty.

[–] RobertoOberto@sh.itjust.works 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

That's probably for the best.

I spent 4 years in the USMC and have a very complicated relationship with my time enlisted. There is a lot I'm proud of, but there's also a lot that would be nice to forget.

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[–] Bo7a@lemmy.ca 20 points 5 months ago

Yes. More often than you think. If you can tell a 1/2 inch wrench from a pair of pliers you are already ahead of some applicants.

[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I have a buddy who went from smoking crack to making more money than me in a year working as a mechanic being trained basically from scratch. Now that's obviously anecdotal but it does happen.

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[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 135 points 5 months ago (1 children)

People getting wise to the military. Many would defend their country, but don't want to die for an oil company to make an extra thousand. Guessing which is more likely is left as an exercise for the reader.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 48 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Yeah, catch me joining the army when we're fighting actual nazis again. Til then I'm good at home

[–] Blooper@lemmynsfw.com 27 points 5 months ago (2 children)
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[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago

"... til then I'm good at home." Funny, that's most likely where you'll have to kill some Nazis next.

[–] el_abuelo@lemmy.ml 12 points 5 months ago (3 children)

And the good thing is you'll have plenty of warning because your government is unlikely to join the war against the nazis for a good couple of years into the war against the nazis.

I jest....but kinda not really given current US foreign policy (or that of the past 100yrs tbh)

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[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 102 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] Loonesota@lemmy.world 86 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I mean it's obviously total bullshit as is, but the fucking link at the bottom really seals the deal... I'm totally convinced now...

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.de 18 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Weird, why would it be a .com link as opposed to .gov or .mil?

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 20 points 5 months ago

Because the US government pays a private company to advertise for them

[–] uis@lemm.ee 68 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] uis@lemm.ee 24 points 5 months ago

Green text, green uniform

[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 63 points 5 months ago (1 children)

They're all over Reddit man

[–] Isoprenoid@programming.dev 34 points 5 months ago (2 children)

At least we're safe here on Lemmy.

^γvɒn^ ^ǝʜɈ^ ^nioį^

[–] oce@jlai.lu 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Join Yvan? You mean join Lemmygrad?

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 50 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Be on site military contractor

Told I'll be making infinitemoney.jpg

Actually make slightlymorethangs.jpg but with no pension

Tfw ptsd from analyzing combat footage

Tfw actively and daily shunned as "not one of us, just a dirty filthy contractor"

Tfw you can't get another engineering job because your entire portfolio is classified

Tfw when there is no mental health support or support groups available for aforementioned "just a dirty filthy contractor" reasons

Decide to go back to college instead of killing self

Check brand new school email

"Hi, my name is Sgt Fuckface! Here at the national guard we're looking for promising young graduates like you"

[–] CedarMadness@midwest.social 24 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Tfw you can't get another engineering job because your entire portfolio is classified

I once got a "redacted" resume from someone who used to work in defense. Basically they just had a bunch of line items like

  • Developed back-end for ████████████████████ in Spring microservices, which is deployed in ██████████████████ used by ██████████ operations daily

It got the point across about their skills and honestly they got an interview from it

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago

I used to work for a company that contracted out programmers to a defense contractor (Northrup Grumman). It honestly never even occurred to me to redact out the stuff I worked on when I put it in my resume. Nobody said anything about that when I left the company, even though I'd gotten a security clearance to work at NG in the first place. I wonder if your "redacted" person just did it themselves to create a sense of mystery.

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[–] PiratePanPan@lemmy.dbzer0.com 43 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (5 children)

> be in military
> get inconsolable trauma and my legs blown off for oil company
> end up homeless anyways and die of a drug overdose

God, I love this country. USA! USA!

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[–] Crismus@lemmy.world 39 points 5 months ago (3 children)

They forget the part where the signing bonus doesn't exist after they finish BCT.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 33 points 5 months ago (2 children)
[–] neo@lemy.lol 20 points 5 months ago

Kind of yes. Wikipedia says: Basic Combat Training.

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[–] Loonesota@lemmy.world 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How so? Is it a flat out lie, or are there costs associated with BCT?

Very funny either way, as I was thinking about signing on as a last ditch effort to set myself up a few years ago, but I ended up getting forklift certification and a CDL, and have been doing just fine since.

[–] Crismus@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I know that when I joined up in 1997 a lot of those bonuses simply disappeared if you didn't keep ahold of your original paperwork. Sometimes they had a lot of hidden clauses, so you could lose the bonus for a minor infraction. Or, the bonus was really part of your pay and the full amount would be paid out after if you actually completed 8 years instead of the 2-4 year commitment you started on.

All I know is I personally ended up permanently disabled at 18 and fought with the VA until 2019 to get my disability compensation. Which they only paid me back pay from 2009 instead of from the date of disability in 1997.

Getting money from the government takes a long time. The people downwind of the Atomic test sites have been fighting 50+ years for the full payments from being irradiated during the 50's.

But hey, joining the military is a good job if you aren't stupid and taking a combat MOS when you could have a steady non-combat job with perks. Right now the Commissary benefits for cheap food is worth it with how food prices have been going.

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[–] Omgboom@lemmy.zip 38 points 5 months ago (2 children)

He'll be married to a stripper in no time

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

And the proud owner of a Mustang with a 28% APR loan.

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[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 33 points 5 months ago (1 children)

hey man... recruiting's fucking hard. it's harder than ever for them to make their numbers. I feel bad for 'em because it's fucking hopeless. but also, fuck recruiters lol, because when they stop giving fucks, you end up with someone really neet on your squad

[–] MindTraveller@lemmy.ca 44 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I hate recruiters because they encourage naive teenagers to become professional killers at an age and level of experience where they cannot understand what that means.

Half the point of basic training is to break or subvert the part of the brain that questions authority and objects to doing violence. Psychologically, humans are not designed for killing other humans. Taking a life is difficult for a good fucking reason, and bypassing that instinct is dangerous.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 16 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Half the point of basic training is to break or subvert the part of the brain that questions authority and objects to doing violence. Psychologically, humans are not designed for killing other humans. Taking a life is difficult for a good fucking reason, and bypassing that instinct is dangerous.

Valid point. I do worry, though, without the training you describe - which I went through - is reverting to pre-ww2 training where soldiers would freeze up in combat instead of reverting to their training (hopefully). At the end of the day, soldiers are trained for combat, and I wouldn't want to put people into those situations without as realistic a training regime as we can devise; you train as you fight so you don't have to sacrifice soldiers to gain the proficiency to operate in a combat environment.

Ideally we'd get rid of war.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 30 points 5 months ago

I don't know if trying to recruit 4channers is a bottom of the barrel scraping, or just a clear view of how they see every recruit.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 27 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Do army recruiters fall under "fed"?

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 39 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Don't they work for the federal government?

[–] NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 27 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (7 children)

I think "fed" is typically used to refer to the 3 letter alphabet agencies, but as you are technically correct (the best kind of correct), I'll accept it

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

3 letter alphabet agencies

DoD

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[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 13 points 5 months ago

realest 4chan post

[–] Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

On one hand this is totally just an ad. On the other hand being a suicidal neet is not sustainable.

[–] adj16@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago

On the third, radioactive hand, there are 15000 ways to not be a suicidal neet that don’t involve being a shill for the orphan (and adult) crushing machine

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