this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 262 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (12 children)

Guys, please dip your balls in soy sauce or whatever if you can't help yourself but I'm quite sure that it won't work. I know that this is the green text community but still:

*Receptors on different parts of the body do different things. The taste buds on your tongue respond to whether or not food is edible—and of course, provide taste—while the taste buds on your testicles instead send signals to your body about sperm and testosterone production.

And the scrotum does not have "taste buds,” to be clear. “It’s also important to note that the taste receptors are in your testicles," adds Justin Dubin, a current Urology Resident at the University of Miami and soon to be Northwestern University fellow specializing in male infertility and sexual medicine. "When you dip your balls in food or sauces, you’re actually only exposing your scrotum to the food ... which is the skin surrounding and protecting your testicles."

In addition to your scrotal skin, you have other layers of tissue that separate your testicles from the outside world, so it is safe to say putting food or any other item on your scrotum won't get you anywhere close to direct contact with the actual testicle.

“Even if you were able to somehow put food on your actual testicle, which I recommend never trying, the taste receptors would not allow you to taste anything as they simply do not function the same way they do in your mouth and you would not experience the sensation of taste,” Dubin adds.

You probably wouldn't want to experience taste from your testicles, anyway. If this were the case, as Brahmbhatt points out, you’d constantly "taste" the smell of your scrotum and testicles—even sperm. Yuck.

“Obviously this does not happen—further dispelling the myth that has been propagated,” he says.*

-Dr. Jamin Brahmbhatt, MC, urologic and robotic surgeon.

I am not sure whether this article was solely published in Men's Health but here's the article:

https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a36751724/do-testicles-have-taste-buds/

[–] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 80 points 1 year ago

Half-truths are the most effective troll posts.

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 36 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

You probably wouldn’t want to experience taste from your testicles, anyway. If this were the case, as Brahmbhatt points out, you’d constantly “taste” the smell of your scrotum and testicles—even sperm. Yuck.

Anon's mom told me that it's actually not so bad.

[–] Caligvla@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So the balls are constantly tasting cum? That's fucking gay, bro.

[–] dustyData@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There's nothing gayer than being a man. You always have a dick in close proximity and the only way to get off is playing with that dick. That's super gay.

Straight trans men are the only straight men!

[–] florge@feddit.uk 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Is a robotic surgeon someone who operates on robots?

[–] imaqtpie@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

No, it's just a surgeon who lacks personality and operates with cold detachment.

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[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

https://academic.oup.com/molehr/article/19/6/349/1061673

^Basically says the same thing but in extreme detail.

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[–] EnderMB@lemmy.world 161 points 1 year ago (3 children)

If you think that's mad, your balls can taste spice! You can test this yourself by pouring hot sauce all over your genitals.

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago

For uncut dudes, make sure you pull the foreskin all the way back. You gotta hit that mucus membrane with some capsaicin.

[–] SirHery@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago
[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is that why bengay tastes like balls?

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, his balls just tasted like bengay and you developed a learned association.

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[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 79 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Alright, I just dipped my balls in a bowl of cordial, so you don't have to.

My sack didn't detect any sweetness, but I'm sure if someone sucked on them, then they would.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't leave us hanging OP, get down there.

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[–] Cypher@lemmy.world 76 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The fact I have never tasted the dreaded bowl splash dispels this myth.

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 45 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Maybe your toilet water is not sweet enough

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[–] awwwyissss@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago

Poseidon's Kiss, a sneaky surprise for the carefree pooper

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[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 59 points 1 year ago (7 children)
[–] Shortstack@reddthat.com 17 points 1 year ago

Jfc I thought everyone was just shitposting here but this is a real what the fuck moment

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[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 54 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm sitting here with explosive diarrhoea and this would be somewhat worse if my balls could taste.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You realize you're supposed to take your underwear off before using the toilet, right?

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (19 children)

I do, yes. Did you miss the "explosive" part?

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[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] TheIvoryTower@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It might have just been chance, you better replicate it to check.

[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

Don't get cocktea on me. I done made scrotonade.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Reminds me of that South Park episode where Cartman proves you can eat from your ass and shit from your mouth.

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[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 41 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Prehistoric dangling diabetes detectors

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] MojoMcJojo@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Actually I read it but I just didn't understand.

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[–] Restaldt@lemmy.world 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why else would it be called teabagging?

Thats how you're supposed to check if your tea has been sweetened properly before consumption

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[–] elvith@feddit.org 21 points 1 year ago

So that's why everything tastes like dick all the time...

[–] TastyWheat@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

1980: in the future, we'll have flying cars! 2024: Stop dipping your balls in soy sauce you fucking idiots

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[–] P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 19 points 1 year ago

Someone please call the science memes community! Misinformation is winning against me!!

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

The treat that's salty and sweet!

[–] superkret@feddit.org 10 points 1 year ago

The testis taste test.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 year ago

Sounds like a load of bollocks to me

[–] BeatTakeshi@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

My honeymoon could have gotten quite a twist

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Uhhh I have never heard of this but I might test it...

[–] ruk_n_rul@monyet.cc 7 points 1 year ago

Teabag on teabag anyone?

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