this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
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Greentext

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[–] noyou@sh.itjust.works 2 points 17 hours ago

Schrodinger's shlong.

[–] KingGimpicus@sh.itjust.works 5 points 21 hours ago

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Well and the amazing sloppy toppy pudding poppy.

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

William Dufoe? Promise?

[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 29 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You know... I think I risk it all and take the blindfold off. Perhaps I am Icarus flying too close to the sun but whilst on the brink of perfection, why not take the plunge?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)
[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

This is not only AI slop but assumes I am Putin. Totally ruins it. If I woke up one day and realized I was Putin, the first fucking thing I'd do is put a bullet through my brain.

[–] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Would you though? Assuming that you woke up as putin, would Putin really blow his own brains out?

Or would you walk out of the window in the highest building you could find as is tradition?

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

Yea that's a decent point. Might be worth sticking around a bit to kill off some collaborators so some other piece of trash doesn't take over the position as soon as Putin's out of the way.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 22 hours ago

I think neither. You'd be like, "I'll just be Putin, but...you know...as a good guy."

knock on door

"Sir, the gaggle of gymnasts you requested is here and limbered up..."

[–] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

I love how you think

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What on Earth would have to possess me to get in that situation in the first place?!

[–] Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Kidnapping by your local terrorist sex workers(they are trying unionize).

[–] agelord@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago

Why did they get ionized in the first place?

[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 43 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Yeah but this is old fashioned internet fucked and i approve.

[–] CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works 30 points 2 days ago

Always has been 🌎👨‍🚀🔫👨‍🚀

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 day ago

Hey its me, your internet.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 219 points 2 days ago (1 children)

"When a gift horse is munching on one's carrot, one must be very careful not to look it in the mouth." - Albert Confucius, 1969-04-20

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[–] Soulcreator@programming.dev 23 points 2 days ago (6 children)

I'm pretty sure I'm completely missing the point, but how on earth did you find yourself in the situation? Like your dick out and blindfolded in a location that virtually anyone can walk into. All of a sudden with little warning you feel something happening down there but you don't peek or ask what's up, you just sit there silently and long enough for you to realize you're getting the best blowjob of your life.

Honestly the more I describe the scenario the more I realize unless it's a trusted partner, this is not the type of scenario that most women would immediately just start going to town without reason. So if you are strictly looking for a woman, at very least one of sound mind you are probably SOL.

[–] WoodScientist@sh.itjust.works 5 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

How did Plato trap all those people in his cave?

[–] reksas@sopuli.xyz 3 points 21 hours ago

asking the real questions here

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's a thought experiment. How the fuck do you find yourself in the trolley problem?

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago (12 children)

You really need to consider the possibilities when deciding whether to take off the blindfold. I think it's reasonable to reflect a bit on how you got there to narrow the possibilities down somewhat.

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

I thought Marco Pole-blow was one of those universal games everyone grew up playing.

[–] MyNamesTotallyRobert@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

This is kind of what I was thinking. In order for a situation like this to ACTUALLY happen, there is a complete, flat 0% chance that an attractive woman will be involved in any part of this unless you're doing some kind of roleplay thing with your partner in the bedroom. So by default its going to be Bill Cosby's dog or some shit.

[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

what, you guys have never gone to a sex dungeon and slapped on a blindfold and sat in the Free Use chair??

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

You KNOW that's still going to be a dog.

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[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Never gotten head so I think the first will be the best by default.

[–] Damage@feddit.it 38 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Of course I'm taking it off.
Knowledge has value. Are you so willing to give up any future chances just to not ruin this one? You may learn more on this art and its scholars!

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (5 children)
[–] Damage@feddit.it 3 points 1 day ago

I snap a photo and now I have blackmail material

[–] flippinfreebird@lemmy.today 3 points 1 day ago

Ain't no way booger lip isn't making noises that'll give it away.

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

If I could choke him to death after, that would be a consolation prize I'd be fully and gladly willing to accept.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I don't know what this means but it makes me giggle.

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[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 106 points 2 days ago (11 children)

This reminds me of my ex who liked sucking dick so much i swear she sucked out my soul a couple times.

My wife has sadly never gotten close to those levels of sloppy toppy, i would never tell her tho lol i love her too much and she tries :p.

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