This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
If countries' leaders weren't dumb as shit they would offer public dating apps that don't try to exploit people.
These apps work great when the goal is to match people who would get along, capitalism enshittified them.
It's obviously how most people want to meet, why not offer people a dating site that isn't shit to fix isolation?
I honestly think countries don't want to fix their birthrates at all, none of them do anything significant to help them.
I feel like if countries' leaders weren't dumb as shit, they'd work to fix healthcare, education, and the economy, as that would have a much larger positive impact than a dating app.
One of these things can be done with a web app for a very small amount of discretionary spending that doesn't need to be approved by any congress or voters
Like it would probably cost less than 5mil to do it right, every city in the country has that money sitting around and all it would take is 1 of them writing up a contract with a developer.
True but companionship/dating definitely helps in a way
Also we would be getting to the future of awesome stuff way quicker than we are now
The best way to make it better is supporting Alovoa and Duolicious by developing them further and using them as well. That will help in immense ways to improve dating scene. Also would be interesting if we ever get an AdultFriendFinder open source alternative eventually too
What are these sites you mention? I could search for it but then the info wouldn’t be here for others.
https://alternativeto.net/ is a website people use to list all kinds of alternatives to many different things. Alovoa and Duolicious have profiles on there linking to their websites/repositories/etc. Haven't checked what license they have but if they have right one they can be forked if needed
Edit: Just found about Fynd too. It's a non profit but is not open source
Edit 2: Duolicious is a non-profit as well
Hopefully, one of these can take off
Dating sites work best when everyone is on the same app, so the less popular ones usually have a disappointing number of members.
Let's get people on them!! I checked some out and well they seem a bit low-effort no picture accounts infested but there seem to be some genuine people on there with the verified badge
Someone who is hardworking and disciplined enough to keep the same shitty job for ten years could easily make a partner happy and get satisfaction from a relationship. Too many people look at what other people have and let it make them feel hopeless when they should be looking at what they have themselves and let it make them feel empowered.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I feel so much better when rather than looking at what others have and wishing i had it too, instead looking at what others lack and seeing if there's anything I can do to help them attain it.
It helps me appreciate what I do have. There are people I love who want me around. It took so long to recognize, internalize, actually feel and experience that fact instead of just ... knowing it in a distant academic sense like 'sure yeah it stands to reason that this is true i guess but i have no proof'...
Until recently, i 'knew' that people cared about me and wanted me around the same way a person born blind can KNOW that the wavelength and frequency of the color Blue are 450 nanometers and about 666 terahertz (heh 🤘) respectively but not have an intrinsic experience of what it's like to see it.
it's nice actually being able to FEEL what i only previously just numbly heard about. and now all i truly want in the world, on the deepest level, beyond petty hedonic desires, is for more other people to know what it's like to feel loved.
Yes, I think being able to be satisfied is a life skill. If this guy can hold a job and be satisfied with it, I agree so very much that indicates he can be happy in a relationship, and can make someone else happy.
I have a sister-in-law with an objectively good life, quit work after her kid was born, my brother makes enough she doesn't really have to, when she was in Florida she complained it was too hot, they moved to Massachusetts, but then she complained it was too cold, they moved back, in the city complained the house was too small, they moved to a big house in the suburbs well now she complains they are in the suburbs it doesn't matter what her objective situation is, she cannot be satisfied, it's just not in her nature.
Anyone who is going through this, you have to try. You have to put effort into yourself and get used to rejection. It’s not fun but if it’s important to you then it’s important to show up.
I didn’t have my first kiss until 26. I have a wife and two kids. Just so you don’t think it was easy for me.
Can’t.
I spent my whole life being told to not be a creep, don’t just go up to women they don’t want random men approaching them, they’re at the club for a good time with friends, etc.
So that only leaves online dating and I’m not a 10/10 so never get a match.
So that only leaves online dating and I’m not a 10/10 so never get a match.
Bullshit. That's just toxic internet culture talking. You may have to put some effort in your profile, but it worked for me and I'm a 6 at best.
From my experience online dating (as a man) is a complete waste of time. In about one year I got like 10 matches at Max and half of those didnt even had any form of somewhat decent communication.
I did put quite some effort into my profile but it didnt help anything.
Now since I switched sides I have gotten more likes in a single week than I got in a whole year just because I switched from male to female. I Am pre everything, so I dont even look remotely feminine and most of my pictures are kinda ass, but I dont really bother to make some good ones.
From my experience online dating as a man is either hit or miss. A friend of mine had luck with it several times, but at least for me online dating was the biggest waste of time of my life.
!!!
Make conversation with other people at nightclubs!
Those who don’t want conversation will probably say nothing or one word
It’s fine trust!!
So don't be a creep, meet people as they are, don't meet people expecting them to have sex with you
Work on yourself, go to therapy, get a hobby or read a book, join a reading group.
You have to be a part of a community to meet people. You can't just hang out on the internet posting about how unfair it all is, and expect anything to magically change
take care
don’t just go up to women they don’t want random men approaching them,
I think many people can benefit from understanding how to strike up conversations with strangers generally. If you're already comfortable making small talk in a line, with your seat neighbor at a bar or communal table at a restaurant, talking to fellow dog owners at the dog park,v or getting to know people during a meet and greet at a conference or happy hour, swinging by a new colleague's desk just to say hi and get to know them, you'll get a sense of what types of interactions are comfortable and flow naturally.
If you're not comfortable approaching men, women who are with their significant others, people clearly outside your dating age range with small talk or simple conversations, it's hard to build the skill and experience of approaching women you'd like to date if you don't already have the foundation of approaching people you don't want to date.
It's also a great way to address the actual core premise of this post, that there are a lot of lonely people who could use friend making skills too.
The number of upvotes on this is concerning. It means there are a super majority of people who voted on this comment that don't know how to talk to others, and feel alone.
Mate, similar to how others have commented, you're in a self-fulfilling cycle. You have to learn to just be relaxed first, talk with people for the sake of it, making friends, having fun.
Randomly approaching a woman, isn't a great way to strike up a conversation that leads to something more (outside certain more familiar contexts like a party).
If your intentions are only "I'm gonna hit on this woman", then you're always gonna be creepy.
Woman are just people. Get to know people in general and you'll have a much better time.
There are dozens of times a day where you can talk to people: in line, at work with colleagues, on public transport (if someone happens to mention something you know about and it's not a private feeling conversation), hospitality staff, etc.
These are not suggestions of how to find a partner, but of low-hanging opportunities for conversation.
You may still be unattractive, which depending on why, you may or may not be able to work on, but this STILL doesn't stop you from making friends or generally enjoying being around others.
The way you've commented is learned helplessness, and I truly wish you the best, and hope you take steps to pull yourself out of it, with the support of those around you (and professional help, if it's something available to you).
All the best friend.
Idk what OP is doing wrong, but in my experience bartenders and service workers are always hooking up - with each other, with patrons, at after work social engagements...
The job sort of requires you to be social, to be friendly, to engage with strangers, and to empathize with other people.
That's not to say the relationships last. Plenty of drama in the service industry, too. Lots of substance abuse. Lots of cheating. Lots of traveling, boom and bust with the economic tides, and risk taking for better or worse.
But the idea that you're just a bartender for ten years and nothing is happening in your life is crazy.
You are missing one crucial aspect.
90%of greentext is completely fabricated.
If this is true or not is almost irrelevant, these people exist, male and female.
I might have become one of them if not for just sheer luck.
Neurodiversity can have all kinds of effects and not being able to connect with people can be one of them.
Just be kind, to your fellow humans, not everyone can do what they want to do.
10 years as a server in a sushi restaurant, from 21 to 31, made me think this is an Asian dude who's parents own a sushi joint and he is required to work there.
I know a lot of people like that. Likeable, but something just keeps them from forming those kind of relationships even just for a hook up.
This is a huge deal. Truly. Male loneliness in particular is a swollen lithium battery ready to be poked. I doubt it will be addressed correctly. I have no idea how to fix it and infinite empathy for anyone, male or female, going through this.
I also wonder what a correct approach would be. When I was young, I was very lonely. It took a long time for me to realize that I was the problem. Actually, now that I think about it, what would probably help a lot is therapy being broadly available to anyone. Talking to other people, especially trained professionals, and listening to their opinions is so incredibly helpful. Only spending time inside your own head or online is super toxic and nothing good ever comes from that.
I know he's a right-wing nut job now but I found Jordan Peterson really helpful in my youth. "Clean up your room", "dress like the person you went to be", "happiness is fleeting, and suffering requires constant meaning".
His old stuff was simple and straight forward, good lessons for a lost young man
This isn't a complete solution, but joining groups for interaction is a start. Book clubs, game clubs, sports, movie clubs, whatever it is as long as it's social and in person. Put up a flyer on community noticeboards for an activity you like, alternatively.
Volunteering can also help. Being part of a community, being seen and contributing can make all the difference to starting the process.
This isn't a solution to depression or any mental health issue. It's a possible way to begin creating connection though.
That’s amazing job stability for a waiter in a sushi place, if that’s real.
The cynic in me says that OP being lonely despite being so empathetic and easy to sympathize with is a rhetorical device.
But on face value, on the off chance that it’s real, it’s clear OP was a constant in the couple’s life, and no doubt a positive one since they kept coming back. It’s not just a sad story, because at least OP gets to be someone to someone else, and that’s something.
i mean, the japanese steakhouse my dad loved, they had most of the same staff from when they opened til when they closed 20 years later. we got to know the sushi chefs and everything, he was that regular.
We’ve lost our “village”, those third spaces that provided extended family and friends networks. American “self-reliance” has generated a separated society that has stripped a lot of the support and social network we used to have in favor of a job, a home separate from extended family, and a standalone family unit on their own against the world. Too hard to meet new people, too few clubs, too little money to get into a lot of hobbies, too little free time to spend it on anything other than rest and trying to stay sane.
We are slowly turning into Japan
I think I'm turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so...
Ironically, it's social networks that helped kill our social networks.
actual emotionally mature 4chan take, no way!
> Works
> Goes home
> Masturbates
> Sleeps
> Works
Why am I single?
Don't forget watch Andrew tate and Joe rogan all night.
"Why are women disgusted by me?"