this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2026
290 points (99.0% liked)

Not The Onion

21227 readers
1893 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 30 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 1 points 1 minute ago

"Pentagon Prayer Service"

Oh good lord we are dooooooomed

for years, I smugly thought our military was past this crap. what a dummy i was, no wonder everything is so fucked

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 3 points 58 minutes ago

I'm not sure what irks me more. The existence of a "Pentagon Prayer Service" or this idiot quoting invented bible verses.

[–] Malyca@lemmy.zip 20 points 3 hours ago

🤣 at least the end of the world is funny

[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 115 points 6 hours ago (2 children)

I thought Hegseth had quoted Pulp Fiction and the issue was that it's blasphemous to do so by a gov official and such... but no, it totally looks like this idiot did not know this was not an actual Bible quote

The lesson here is "if you think they cannot possibly that dumb, forget about it and double down"

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 38 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

it totally looks like this idiot did not know this was not an actual Bible quote

He knew it wasn't an actual Bible quote, but he did think it was a modified version of Ezekiel 25:17. Which it definitionally is. The actual string is:

Ezekiel 25:17 –> (edit: Bodyguard Kiba modification) –> Pulp Fiction modification –> USAF modification

Whereas he thought it was:

Ezekiel 25:17 –> USAF modification

I think that's understandable if you've never seen Pulp Fiction (because you just assume the Pulp Fiction stuff was the USAF's addition), but it's still pretty funny.

The actual problem here, as usual, is separation of church and state being trampled over to make way for Abrahamic prayers in the US federal government.

[–] BlackVenom@lemmy.world 6 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

25:17 is a small segment of the "verse"... Pulp Fictions rendition is made up all in except the "great vengeance and furious anger..." Part....

E.g. fake bible verse.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 18 minutes ago) (1 children)

E.g. fake bible verse

You mean "i.e.", and yeah, he said that it's "reflecting" Ezekiel 25:17.

“They call it CSAR 25:17, which I think is meant to reflect Ezekiel 25:17.”

He literally never said it's an actual Bible quote or even all that close to one.

[–] towerful@programming.dev 3 points 48 minutes ago

Yup. It's not giving an example so "e.g." doesn't make sense

For example fake bible verse

[–] zewm@lemmy.world 61 points 5 hours ago (3 children)

Separation of a church and state or nah? How is this allowed?

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 32 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

That went out the window long ago

[–] eatCasserole@lemmy.world 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Was it ever really a thing though [in the US]? Like aren't presidents sworn in on a Bible or something? And it says something about God on the money? And the pledge of allegiance? (The USA is a cult, btw)

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 18 points 5 hours ago

That all changed during the “Red Scare” in the 1950’s. Swearing in on a bible is optional and lower offices have used e.g. a Quran in the past.

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 16 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Well, it's technically not part of any religion since it's a verse from a movie.

[–] MnemonicBump@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 4 hours ago

Are you telling me that Tarantino fans aren't a religion?

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Technically illegal, but the people whose job it is to enforce it are Christofascists, so this is the result.

[–] brynden_rivers_esq@lemmy.ca 28 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

These guys are such incredible losers. This guy in particular.

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 hours ago

In the words of South Park, Pete Hegseth is a fuckin' douche.

[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 10 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

“The path of the downed aviator is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of camaraderie and duty shepherds the lost through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to capture and destroy my brother, and you will know my call sign is Sandy 1 when I lay my vengeance upon thee. Amen.”

Dude probably prompted ChatGPT with the words Bible, badass, and US military and than asked it to replace some words with the rescue operation. That's my guess as some of the word replacements make no sense.

[–] Soulphite@reddthat.com 17 points 6 hours ago
[–] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 4 hours ago

I wonder if he used Gemini or chatGPT to generate the speech.

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Could be worse, he could have called upon Brother Maynard to read from the Book of Armaments...

[–] TheRealKuni@piefed.social 2 points 38 minutes ago (1 children)

“And St. Atilla raised the hand grenade on high, saying, ‘O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.’ And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats…”

[–] Hazmatastic@lemmy.world 2 points 24 minutes ago

The delivery of "in Thy mercy" sends me every time

[–] Marthirial@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Please tell me he started the quote from "Say what again, mortherfucker".

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 hours ago

No. This guy is just distilled awfulness. He's all stick and no lollypop.

[–] DandomRude@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago

Does it even matter what these people say? Apparently not, because none of them has ever said anything even remotely intelligent, let alone productive. Nothing but hate and lies for years - this latest embarrassment hardly seems worth reporting, given all the crimes the U.S. regime is committing.

But hey, politics works through entertainment, which the clever people behind these people naturally know. That’s why they've chosen a cabinet of clowns as straw men - because they’re so embarrassing that the relevant news doesn’t stand a chance against their entertainment factor.

That’s unfortunately how our world works, and that’s why the worst of them all always get off scot-free: their crimes are simply too complicated to generate any interest.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 5 points 5 hours ago

but they will see it not for the lord god shall pour upon their minds a multitude of dumb fuckery!

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 4 points 5 hours ago

From this article (better than one posted yesterday), it's clear the error was saying the prayer was based on a Bible verse, when it's based on the Pulp Fiction script. In the movie, the verse is said to be from Ezekiel 25:17, but it is not.

The prayer itself is obviously not from Pulp Fiction or the Bible, as it mentions aviators and the call sign "Sandy 1." They call the prayer CSAR 25:17, and Hegseth was correct that that is in reference to Ezekiel 25:17. But it's the movie Ezekiel 25:17, not the actual one.

[–] flandish@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago

ahh good ole copyright infringement