this post was submitted on 16 May 2026
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon works out the question to the final solution (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 12 hours ago by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
21 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 
>be me
>19
>autistic khhv
>lonely
>get great idea to work on my people skills
>join a friend finding server
>add foid
>we chat
>shits pretty boring she gives typical one word foid responses
>says shes a history major
>I know how to spice this conversation up 
>I think about asking her the classic would you kill baby Hitler to stop the holocaust?
>but then an even better question dawns upon me
>would you molest baby Hitler to stop the holocaust?
>calls me a freak then blocks me
>hour later I get banned from the discord
>pic related

Staff

We don't need these "jokes" in our server. If you don't know better you present a risk we wish to not allow in our server.

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[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 hour ago

Would I molest baby Hitler to stop the holocaust?

I mean, probably not?

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 hour ago

Anon is ... special. And not in a good way.

[–] Fizz@lemmy.nz 6 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Kind of an easy one.

I would molest baby Hitler if I knew beforehand that it would stop the holocaust. Its disgusting but to save that many lives its above my personal comfort. its a duty to humanity at that point.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 12 points 4 hours ago

I would molest baby Hitler

~fizz@lemmy.nz

Now everyone will know, for better or worse

[–] red_bull_of_juarez@lemmy.dbzer0.com 101 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Terms like "foid" are great in a way, because they make it very easy to identify assholes.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 47 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Definitely offered an abundance of context for their conversational partner’s curt responses. You don’t even need the rebuttal greentext, they’ve already confirmed everything.

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 20 points 8 hours ago

behold, the Platonic ideal of the 4chan user

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 48 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah that's uh... I mean I'm autistic and I was nowhere near that socially inept at age 19, damn.

Also, because I had to look it up:

khhv = kissless hugless handholdless virgin

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 35 points 10 hours ago

There's no level of autism that can get you to think that talking about molesting baby Hitler would be a good idea, especially with a girl that anon is presumably trying to impress. There's a reason that anon is on 4chan, and it's not just autism.

[–] SsxChaos@lemmy.ml 53 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Honestly, pretty sure not even autism causes a question like that to surface..

[–] TribblesBestFriend@startrek.website 42 points 11 hours ago

« be me, say I have autism to excuse my anti-social behaviours and refusing to see my own fault in this situation. Probably because of my higher brain chemistry and women’s fault »

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 13 points 11 hours ago

“Not even”

Autism is officially the final boss of communication issues

[–] amio@lemmy.world 21 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

While in may ways it's genuinely hard to navigate neurotypical society with all its prejudice, it's also actually relatively easy to just not go there

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 11 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

it’s also actually relatively easy to just not go there

Into neurotypical society or broaching baby molestation? Because I’d have a harder time avoiding one than the other, but I won’t judge my experiences as the only correct ones.

[–] carmo55@lemmy.zip 13 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Huh. I can't come up with a reason for why molesting baby Hitler feels so much more wrong than killing baby Hitler. You could even make the argument that it's less wrong.

Is it just because of how killing and death is so normalized in all of modern media?

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

Frankly, I don't see how killing baby Hitler is not... extremely obviously morally superior to molesting baby Hitler.

You can kill anybody nearly instantly.

'Molestation' implies... over a signifcant amount of time.

It also implies that this is done in lieu of directly killing baby Hitler.

So you've now generated an even more fucked up Hitler.

Who will... regardless of how their time travel affrcted lifepath plays out... well they'll have been molested. As a core memory.

That... seems to me to be less moral, causes more Hitler-suffering, unnecessarily.

You've minimized total suffering, via killing baby Hitler.

... this is all assuming that just... doing either of these things somehow results in Hitler not coming to power, WW2 doesn't happen, holocaust doesn't happen.

Frankly I also do not see anything near a guaranteed causality to 'molesting baby Hitler' -> 'somehow WW2 does not happen'.

Whereas it is at least semi-plausible that killing baby Hitler at least could result in ww2/holocaust not happening... I guess the ... Strasserists just stay in control of the Nazis? And do not have a strangely charismatic firebrand to massively expand the movement?

So it also just seems very impractical, unlikely that molesting baby Hitler would achieve the presumably desired aim.

And it also assumes that these are your only two possible actions.

Of course the entire thing is ludicrous is the sense of hinging on perfect foreknowledge, and time travel, which is fundamentally paradoxical, and/or results quantum suicide/immortality type nonsense, and/or in the Red Alert timeline.

Oh god, and we essentially have to assume that this will be the only possible instance of time travel that ever happens, otherwise we potentially get into a kind of battling time travellers scenario ala whatever the fuck the Terminator series is doing now, and/or just a reality where many people can do time travel.

Why not just do... teleportation, and either kill or molest Trump or Netanyahu, right now?

I think I'd again conclude that telefragging them would be morally superior.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 13 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

Typical people deal with rape, murder is far rarer so there’s less “reality” to it. Go to a war torn country and you’d get a different response. Possivly “who is hitler?”

But, more specifically, the kill baby Hitler question already exists in the social ether to be finished through call and respond. Branching into molestation requires recontextualization which pulls us into reality. It’s no longer call and respond, and you’ve just asked someone if they’d molest a baby.

[–] curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 4 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

See for me I don't think killing babies is any more or less appropriate. They are both horrifying questions that I can't understand anyone not being able to say "no" to either question.

If youre back in time you could just work to not create a genocidal piece of shit. Also, this presumes that he was the only problem - there were many other horrible people involved, so there would likely just be another to take his place anyway.

Both questions are just off the charts level wrong to me and worth reporting. Though I bet there were plenty of other things said in the chat which would have also fit this ban message.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

You’re not wrong to feel the way that you do. But I would recommend that you try to understand where others tend to draw the incredibly arbitrary violence line

[–] FoxyGrandpa@lemmy.world 16 points 12 hours ago

When anon says they're autistic, you better believe them

[–] froufox@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 10 hours ago

absolutely deserved