this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] EnderMB@lemmy.world 86 points 6 days ago (9 children)

I've told this story a few times now, but I never get sick of it.

Back in 2011 I left a startup that got acquired. On my last day we had a Christmas Party with our parent company, and we got to speaking to one guy that was on his own. After a few drinks, he blurted out that he had worked there for maybe 12 years, but at least 5-6 of those he was "unassigned". When we asked what that meant, he said that his manager left and he was never assigned to a new team. He badged in every day, and after doing maybe 6 months of busy work and asking "wtf am I doing" to no answer from his department or HR he just came in to do his own stuff or play Unreal Tournament. He had yearly reviews with the head of department, and these were just high-level goal meetings where they reviewed the department, asked what he wanted, and left at that. Each year he was getting between a 2-5% pay rise, and outside of badging in he was only ever judged on his department output.

I always wonder what happened to that guy. The company is quite large and is still going strong, so he's probably still there. I won't name them, but another thing I loved about them was that they didn't really know where to put Software Engineers, so they just assigned them to Marketing and gave each engineer a marketing budget to personally use - around £10k each. The best part? Everyone in marketing knew it was bullshit, but they pushed everyone to spend it because otherwise their budget would go down. Some highlights were a trip to Toronto to buy some books, a full team trip to Amsterdam to go to a React conference and live in basically 5-star accommodation, and renting a hotel lobby to quickly burn some money on interviewing interns. I think they actually have a tech department now, but I know many people I worked with that stayed for close to a decade because the WLB and perks were just too good to ignore.

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[–] StinkySocialist@lemmy.ml 23 points 5 days ago

If I did this I would immediately try to get a second job with the extra time and save like crazy.

[–] todd_bonzalez@lemm.ee 19 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Imagine figuring out how to get paid for nothing, and deciding to spend your days sitting on the couch watching TV instead of going out and living life.

What a wasted opportunity.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Or find a new job so you can save the entire salary, and then send in your 2-weeks just before yearly reviews. That way you can get ahead so you have less stress when you inevitably get cut off.

[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Nah don't send in your two weeks, have them fire you and then claim unemployment, or get a severance.

Getting terminated would suck, but not if you already have a job and don't need the reference.

Nah, if they notice you've been scamming them for months and end up firing you, they'll fight the unemployment and could sue you. If you quit before they notice, they may never end up looking into it and you'll get away with it scot free.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 29 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Long ago I worked at Wal-mart's tire center while going to college and to get as many hours as I could they let me work with the overnight people after we closed at 7. In theory. The problem was the overnight managers never got told about this so I would just hang out doing nothing for 3 hours every night and getting paid. This went on for 3 months until I got a better job and no one ever questioned me about it.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 23 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Don't you still feel bad about defrauding Walmart for 180 hours worth of pay?
Cause I don't.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 7 points 5 days ago
[–] huquad@lemmy.ml 24 points 6 days ago

What would you say, you do here?

[–] AlexisFR@jlai.lu 19 points 6 days ago

2022

So, how did it go?

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 16 points 6 days ago

Don't worry Anon, I'm sure it'll work out.

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