Stop getting relationship advice/expectations from 4chan, for starters.
this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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Ask "Why do you feel that's what I'm doing?" then reflect on the answer and how your behaviour was perceived this way. Finally, if after reflection you come to the conclusion that indeed you acted poorly, apologise and try to behave differently in the future.
yo, did the fucking misogyny of 4chan get exported with this post or why are u all acting like chuds rn??
You new to greentext or what?
There is some context missing which makes it hard to give solid advice.
I do think, though, that the internet probably isn't the best place to seek relationship advice unless you have already made up your mind that you're leaving and you just need the final push.
It’s best to explain why what’s your doing is not mansplaining. That always works.
The real answer is to leave. I don’t think I’ve ever had a meaningful or productive conversation where any of these were used.
Though I can see stonewalling being used in earnest.
Stonewalling is probably the best only one on that list where a response would actually make anything better.
tell her to calm down, she is being hysterical
Respond with a strong assertive wave of the hand and a firm "silence women"
And then suggest the Edwardian era cure for hysterical women: orgasm.
The funny thing is when people say "you're gaslighting me", but actually you're the one being gaslit.
Really the problem with things like this is just when they're used in bad faith to gain rhetorical advantage. It's fine to say something to the effect of:
"I believe you're gaslighting me. Here's what I remember happening, and here's some supporting evidence. What you're saying is that it didn't happen that way. If your intention is not to intentionally try to mislead me about how things occurred, can you explain?"
But just saying "You're gaslighting me" when really what's happened is that the way things actually happened is inconvenient to their argument - that's the issue. It all comes down to their motivation
Real gaslighters LOVE the opportunity to further twist facts, or maybe its compulsion. Its better to either disengage entirely or focus on one or two key points their bullshit cannot change
it's very important to begin your response with the word
Axxxxually......
In this biz these are known as "thought-terminating clichés."
Maybe I'm ignorant, but love bombing sounds pretty nice.
Yeah, that's the problem. Once I married a woman I had known for six months, because that whole time she was crazy about me. I was the center of her world. It felt great - I wasn't used to getting a lot of attention from women, and here was one literally begging me to marry her. I went for it. But for whatever reason (maybe God thought it was funny) there are people out there who flip between over-the-top loving someone and over-the-top hating him, for no external reason. My ex-wife kept the crazy under control before we got engaged, but after that about a couple of times a week she would flip out. I ended up divorcing her after six months of marriage - the last straw was when on my birthday she flipped out because I wanted to celebrate with my family and not just with her. (She was extremely jealous - not just about other women but about my family and even my dog.)
Normal social interactions don't prepare you to deal with a person like that. Even long after the divorce, I would still wonder if maybe I was the one who had been doing something wrong - after all, she was usually so sweet and loving!
Love-bombing a love-bomber can get epic, but then there's the fallout when the one drops the act and is terrified by the possibilities that: you weren't acting, you were just matching their energy and can meet them down in the trenches before they can actually drag you down, and/or you knew what they were up to and refuse to be made to have a problem with it(see "weren't acting").
Now you're stuck with a bait-and-switcher who cannot grasp that you might not be pulling the same trick they just failed to land.
If this sounds like a lot of drama and a massive pain, it is, and that's why its not recommended over disengaging once you've realized what's happening.
Sometimes I wish I could take psychopathy for a test drive, just to see what it's like to be emotionally invulnerable for a day. This is the kind of thing I'd want to do.
Psychopathy? Autism? BPD?
I stay medicated and too busy doing right by my family to dwell on it, but I have enough emotional depth that I sometimes wonder if I didn't just decide to try to think and act like an unhinged psychopath one day(WAY before I met my wife...) in the hopes of avoiding abuse & despair. I'll tell you this much: Whatever the case, that last part definitely didn't work-out.
I know enough about psychopathy specifically to know it would be interesting to try for a few hours, but longer than that it might ruin my life. My sense of empathy often gives me grief, but it serves a purpose.
I think it’s only called that when it’s being used to manipulate you, paradigm case being an abuser who swears they didn’t mean to they love you so much they weren’t thinking straight please say you love me
find a non hysterical woman who can use better logic to explain why she is upset with you
that said if it was just one of these things you may be doing it
lord help you if it really is all 4 and you can’t tell
who am I kidding, tell the bitch to get back in the kitchen