wait until this guy sits down to pee without paying attention to how things are hanging and feels it running down his calves
ask me how I know
this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2025
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Doing bottom surgery entirely to pee consistently
Yup, been there. Not fun.
It gets hard sometimes... 😞
Love the morning pee boner, where it seems like your dick is trying to ruin the start of your day
I'll pee sitting down sometimes in my own home but peeing sitting down with a penis in a public restroom is gross. Regardless of whether your dick aims at the water or the side of the bowl that's a lot of fine spray of toilet microbiota landing on your junk and undercarriage. Better to just piss everywhere all over the seat and stay pure
I just piss into a wet vac
Hard to miss when it sucks the pee out
how is space?
Pee sitting down, you coward
Congratulations! The stream of your piss hit the rim of the toilet bowl, splattering on the seat, your balls, your legs, and some of it made it through the seat-rim gap to coat your underwear as well! I hope that you enjoy (I know I did...)!
(if it was not connected to my nervous system I would obliterate this thing with gratuitous violence)
Touching that sweet cold porcelaine... Priceless.
just live somewhere hot
it was hot when i moved here
And close the lid before flushing, you nasties
(Added benefit: no arguing)
see, you and I (sane, logical people), say no arguing - but I've seen people argue against just always putting the lid down. I don't understand it. but they do it.
Seriously. Why stand, miss, clean up your own piss (now or later), then repeat all that every time? Also: standing causes splashing - it NEVER all goes into the bowl.
It'll shock you to learn that most men don't bother wiping after peeing, either. They just let it drip in their underwear.
For those of you that might say it doesn't matter — I am living proof of your error. You can wipe your dick after peeing, I know — outlandish.
So this happens because the urethra loses moisture and welds shut, then pee chooses the least-resistance path. If you can't pee sitting ('cause it's easier), one trick is to clamp your dick and push to pee, then release. The pressure will open the urethra wide and a beautiful, directed stream of piss will come out. Also, pull your foreskin back when peeing and clean afterwards with a dab of toilet paper. Fellating persons will thank you!
Thanks for a urethra lifehack! Might save me at times :D
I stopped reading at "clamp your dick"
The ol' dick clamp
That trick works. Before you pee, gently squeeze the tip vertically to open up the urethra.
Usually I just slam mine in the door, twice for best results.
I do it regardless if I need to pee or not
I think there's a gulf of difference between 'gently squeeze' and 'clamp your dick', but ok.
That wasn't the trick they were talking about. They were saying to start peeing, but prevent the flow of urine to let pressure build up to blast open the urethra.
I'm no urologist, but that sounds unhealthy.
Not dangerous but you'll prolly piss on your fingers.
Oh, I misunderstood because that's abhorrent
But it works......probably should not use that as a test for things on your body....
It's all good if it works....NO!
So there's this really cool trick:
-
Face AWAY from the toilet with the heels of your feet close to the base.
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Un-button/tie/velcro/zip the whole waistband (not just the fly) such that you can-
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Lower your entire pants to the floor.
Now this part can be a bit tricky and does take some practice to keep your balance but
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Bend your knees down into a squat while leaning ever so slightly backwards (you can put a hand on a nearby solid object such as the sink or a wall to steady yourself. They also make raised seats with handles on either side if you need help with this).
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Situate your buttocks firmly on the seat.
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Separate your thighs such that you can
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Point your penis down between your legs towards the toilet bowl.
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Proceed to urinate.
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Hygiene is the same as peeing using other techniques.
This technique is all but foolproof; it is almost impossible to miss the toilet bowl.
Hope this helps!
DO NOT FUCK UP STEP 7
Don't kink shame
No kink shaming. Simply put, "Under the seat" is NOT equivalent to "towards the bowel". If you get off on the gamble then flow free my friend.
You forgot to state that the lid should be up
Now I've got piss everywhere
OK you have a point that I will only grant because I'm so used to finding the lid left up despite my best efforts but you are correct.
I keep all my bathroom stuff in my room because none of the people I've ever lived with have thought it worth their time to put down the lid when they flush.
Sitting can be very difficult first thing in the morning sometimes. Well, not the sitting part but the getting your dick to point down into the bowl part.
On those days you lie down on the toilet in a planking position, penis pointing down into the toilet
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Piss after jacking off, anon.
or, y'know, you could sit down. saves on cleaning even when you fail at handling your dick.
If he chops it off he'll have to sit down anyway, so yeah...
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