This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
During college, a girl invited me to watch a movie with her. I went, I watched half the movie, because it was getting super late, then went back home. Mind, she lived alone and we were alone at her apartment. I'm not very bright around women, so I don't know if there were other hints that I should advance on her.
I mean, it's very hit-or-miss. Really depends on the vibes during the movie.
If you left halfway through, I'm going to take a wild guess and say you weren't - like - cuddling and making out at that point in the film.
We weren't, though I don't know if there were any signs that were invitations for cuddling and kissing
During college I had the most intense crush for a girl (I really don't know why but it was like some generic memory from my ancestors in Dune kind of intensity) and we had been only grabbing coffee for several months until one day she invites me over to her apartment as a, "Haha your hair is so long that you need a haircut and I've been doing it for my roommates."
... I left after the haircut 😭
fake: no no, this happened
gay: self-evident
Saying no because you don't feel like it and/or you're being asked on a date in a demeaning way shouldn't be trumped by the feeling that you might not get another chance and you're pathetic for being a virgin.
Yep and that's the key flaw in 4chan's (and now the internet at large's) collective attitude to love and dating. Can't get away from it now, everyone has profound emotional immaturity.
can't wait until they stop being a virgin and find out they are still as pathetic and gay as they were as a virgin.
I actually got more pathetic and gay after losing my virginity
congratulations!
I mean my mental health and confidence improved significantly once I got the stigma of being a virgin off my back. I lost it to a girl that actually liked me and wanted to sleep with me though and we did it again a lot more times. I'm not sure a pity fuck would have had the same effect.
a pity fuck would have fucked you up more.
but people dying of thirst will drink salt water and die faster because of it too.
One time when I was in my early teens, I was teasing my sister and her friend and that friend suddenly lunged at me and bit me on the arm, hard. I had tooth marks and a funny feeling for the next few hours - a girl had touched me, with her mouth!
Did it affect your taste in women?
No no, the woman tasted him
That's basically 3rd base for praying mantis's
You missed your shot man
Seriously though, even as an adult I don't know if I did or not. Why did she do that?
If a woman bites you again, she owns you now
He drew pepe like that one shot of Mello from death note lol
You have a keen eye.
Reminds me of the summer I was dating this waitress who worked at the place i was cooking at. After work her and I and another waitress and my buddy were all going to a big beach party. The other waitress took some E and talked my buddy into driving separately.
When we arrived my buddy said the girl he drove kept saying she wanted to just stay home, skipping the party. So he took her back and dropped her off. He apparently miss the part where she wanted him to skip it too.
Took him another decade to lose his v-card.
had to sit here and figure out that the other waitress was not transfem and was just taking ecstasy
I misread "sister" without the friend part and I momentarily heard Sweet Home Alabama in my head, just for a moment.
Same but it was a green text so didn't even bat an eye
For anyone who might feel similarly to anon - no. No it would not have been a turning point.
Why? Because dating is a matchmaking problem. Whether you are looking to hook up or get hitched, you need to sort out the partners who are a good match for you from those which aren't. So if all anon wanted was any girl to be romantic with him for the rest of his life, and if this girl happened to be his perfect match, then sure, maybe his life would be different. But if anything goes wrong in this plan - which it almost certainly will - then even if this girl kisses him, blows him, fucks his brains out, or dates him for a while, once she peaces, he is right back where he started. No bitches, and no idea how to get them.
The turning point in anon's life can't be when someone else just hands him what he wants by sheer chance. A real turning point can only happen if anon makes the choice to change his life of his own accord. Because when anon makes a choice to do something - like learn to dress better, or go to therapy, or politely introduce himself to an attractive stranger - then he is creating a repeatable strategy for improving his life.
He would learn, get experience, be less afraid and maybe unfuck himself.
But nope, he choose videogames in typical anoncel fashion.
Rolling the dice exactly once has more chance of getting double crits(I'm assuming he has disadvantage) than never rolling at all
Nerds ignoring confidence.
In my experience, 25 year old virgin usually means they'll typically start to embrace that desperate/needy persona.
Events can turn that shit around.
I mean, we can imagine a counterfactual where the girl was even more insistant.
"No, anon, you're taking me on a date! I won't take no for an answer"
And then they go on a date. Anon is very awkward and has no idea what to do. But at the end of the date, she gives him a bj. Now what?
Well from her perspective, maybe, she did a good deed. She gave him some experience and confidence and set him on his way - hooray!
But from anon's perspective - being anon - he is in the same position, only worse. After all, for some reason he can't possibly understand, a girl went on a date with him and blew him, practically handed herself to him on a silver platter, and yet he still managed to fuck it up and didn't lose his virginity. What a hopeless loser he is (he thinks to himself) - even if he is just given the perfect chance, he must be so repulsive and terrible at sex that no woman will want to touch him once they get close enough.
👌
I mean, I’m a 40-year-old virgin, but being asexual and sex-repulsed means I’m not desperate and needy.
However, the asexuality sadly disqualifies me for the wizard powers.
Sure, I'm dragging a wide net.
how can you feel bad about not having sex if you don't want to have sex?
The world puts an unbelievable amount of emphasis on having sex as a mandatory aspiration. Most advertising is coded for either sex or hunger or fear. Most people are sexual people who frame things sexually, even subtly. Douglas Adams even once wrote that the basis of literally every construction and technology and artistic work on the planet was to impress someone of the opposite sex.
Needless to say, it’s hard to keep from internalizing some of this in some way. If you’d look at r/asexuality and the Lemmy asexual communities, you’d see a lot of people realizing “oh shit, I’m not broken!” after spending whole-ass years thinking they were.
There is still a small voice inside me that says I’m an idiot for not chasing sex. I can’t help it. Society is pervasive.
One of the things that stops people making changes and choices of their own accord is fear.
Fear of the unknown, the uncertainty. Anon had a choice to make, they made it.
If they'd made a different choice, their life would have been different. Maybe better maybe not, certainly different.
I thought the point is that anon realized they were the one who was turning opportunities down, and accepting an opportunity where success seemed to be likely would have been the turning point.
Eh, if your problem is that you incorrectly assume you're undesirable, then it might break you out of that. But if your problem is that you're shit at picking who's into you and who's compatible with you then it won't.
That said, this is 4chan. They don't let a little thing spark a process of improvement, they wait for perfect to fall into their laps.
The turning point in anons life is not the realization that he could have turned his life around at an earlier point. But if anon believed that in the past they the had the power to turn their life around, then that is true for the present as well.
Everything is temporary - some relationships last longer than others but they all end, at least from old age. If there can't be worth in a temporary relationship, there can't be worth in any relationship.
Certainly anon could hypothetically value any temporary relationship he had. But he won't. We can tell because of the way he told this story - not as a story of proof that he is desireable and worthy of love, but instead as a story of how he missed an opportunity that will never again come in his life.
Tldr: Anon is doomed
This guy is a lucky bastard and the funny part is he doesn't even know.
It's like the kid who's excited to work some day and get the fuck out of school. I just smile and nod, maybe pat them on the shoulder and say "you're a good kid"
Well it matters what the girls age was also
Why are greentexts always about guys' first romantic experiences
this one isn't
Because they're green
Indicator of the emotional maturity of this comm
Anon has priorities.