Everything seems crazy when you think a man in the sky created the world.
this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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No no no, you just don't understand it.
God moves in mysterious ways.
Just ask job.
Was he the one who was raped by his own daughters?
I think that was Lot, former husband of world's most humanoid salt-lick.
Job basically gets royally fucked over by God due to God getting goaded into doing so by Satan.
Job is God's most devout follower so God wants to prove to Satan that Job will still love God even if he is reduced to misery.
So then basically God makes him poor, kills a bunch of his livestock, kills a bunch of his family, and gives him a horrendously painful plague, which ostracizes him from his whole community who only drop by to mock how pitiful and wretched he is and to gaslight him into thinking he must have sinned horribly.
Job basically goes "Why God, Why?" and God shows up and spends a chapter or two boasting about how awesome he is, and tells Job he should be thankful for what he still has.
This whole ordeal for Job lasts I think nearly a decade, ending only when Satan concedes that Job is truly faithful.
Then God restores Job's health, some of his wealth and ... either resurrects some of his family or gives him a new wife and he has more kids.
The moral of the story is apparently supposed to be that you should always have faith in God even when everything sucks, but the more obvious take away is that God is immensely petty, cruel and vain.
I always wondered if Satan was actually defeated by this, or if he spent the whole ordeal just thinking, "Oh, whoa, he actually took the bait. Holy shit, he's actually doing it. This is hilarious. I can't believe it was this easy. Unreal."
So, IIRC, Job was written during the time where 'Satan' was not really a kind of ... evil lord of this world, the way he was later interpreted by Christians and some later Jews.
'Satan' is actually a kind of descriptive, formal title meaning something like: the accuser/the prosecutor. Its more literally translated as The Satan.
Basically, his job was to second guess God as a kind of ... opposite of a yes man. Basically his role was to ... what we would now say 'play devil's advocate'.
This makes more sense when you realize that Judaism emerged from a polytheistic/henotheistic Canaanite religion.
El or El Elyon (God Most High or God the Greatest) is the sort of Zeus-like master or most powerful of all the gods, the sect that eventually developed into Judaism began referring to him as Yahweh, Ashera is his consort and Goddess of fertility, Elohim is actually plural and means the gods, Ba'al was part of this pantheon, etc.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yahwism
'The Satan' was basically a kind of minor, subordinate god within an originally large pantheon of Canaanite deities, he did not really become associated with some kind of nearly equally powerful evil opposition to Yahweh until after many of the Judahites were held in captivity in Babylonia, and exposed to the Zoroastrian idea of one great good deity and another great evil deity by Cyrus the Great and the Persians, who conquered Babylonia and allowed the Judahites to return to Judah.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Return_to_Zion
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satan
Edit: That last bit is also why Cyrus is portrayed fairly positively and even directly praised by some Old Testament writings, compared to... basically every other foreign or occupying regent or emperor being portrayed quite negatively.
If the questions are insane, the answers don't matter
No, see. Tooth decay, like carnivorousness, only began after Adam and Eve got expelled from Eden. Prior to that, everything existed in harmony sustained on thoughts and prayers.
Rib girl doesn't have teeth. She's just rib.
Holy shit ths is hilarious
Its a shame that the idiom 'just ribbing you' to indicate joking around probably doesn't work in proto-hebrew.
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I mean, kinda? Tooth decay got way worse when we started relying on sugar-rich grain for most of our calories after we developed agriculture.
No, see. Tooth decay, carnivorousness, and everything else were seen as neither good nor bad until Adam and Eve ate the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil and gained consciousness. Prior to that, everything was still absolute chaos, but without a knowledge of good and evil there was no way to make value judgements.
Things are the same as they've always been. The only thing that has changed is your perception.
No, see. Tooth decay, like carnivorousness, only began after Adam and Eve got expelled from Eden. Prior to that, everything existed in harmony sustained on thoughts and prayers.
why the fuck do you and another commenter have the same exact fucking start. Is the matrix breaking what the fuck is this shit
I'm using the same structure as the original comment to make it easier to compare/contrast.
The fact that it's causing you mental unrest means you need to report to the main office for a Voight-Kampff test. The tortoise lays on its back, it's belly baking in the hot sun trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?
damn, shit you right. My bad.
as for why i'm not helping, the tortoise isn't real, it doesn't exist.
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Ah yes pre Cambrian life
The Vatican’s secret library contains a lost scripture that proves that Adam was an anomalocaris
Anon never brushed his teeth and now they're falling out.
Or he brushed his teeth but continued to consume copious amounts of mountain dew and coke. Doesn't matter how much you brush, tons of soft drinks will still destroy your enamel.
You can also over brush and ruin your enamel. Checkmate atheists!
Counterpoint, I drink over 2 l of soda a day almost every single day, I have not had a cavity in the last 7 years, and my enamel is amazing.
I said all of that to say there is a genetic factor to consider, and if you are having enamel issues because of sodas then you would have likely also had them because of tomatoes and other citrusy zesty and acidic foods.
You can't just blame the soda, although I will admit that I'm sure my teeth health would be better if I did not drink so much soda.
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Or humans only need to live to 30 or 40, maybe less to reproduce and raise new humans. So we haven't evolved teeth that lasted longer than that.
Meh, doing all the stuff you're supposed to while being too poor to afford dental care will result in teeth eventually falling out anyway.
I've made it like 7 years so far but being as autistic and thorough as possible about tooth cleaning still doesn't hold it forever. If you could figure out post-apocalyptic/extra-societal molar fillings you could maybe make it last forever. Build a meth lab and use it to make high fluoride "prescription" toothpaste instead of meth while you're at it.
The funny part is that if there were a god (there isn't), he would absolutely be an asshole.
This assumes that if there was a god they are perfect and chose to make us with teeth that fail, bodies that get cancer, anger issues and mental health problems, etc
While that could be the case it could also be the case that if there was a god said god could just be a much higher level lifeform that could create galaxies and life and shit, but still was maybe not all that good at it. Like look at humanity. We can do crazy shit, we can make computers that do incomprehensible things to humans that existed as little as 50 years ago. But those computers still fucking suck and crash all the time, blue screen, lose data, etc.
Maybe there was a god that made humanity but he just wasn’t very good at it and as a result we now have cancer and war. and maybe they’re up there like “oh they’re deifying me, that’s super awkward bc it’s totally my fault their first child died of leukemia at 7 years old”. Or maybe they did all that and now they’re dead too because they’re not actually a god but just a higher lifeform and were deifying a loser that would’ve gotten a c on their biology homework
but there’s probably not one
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I'm not trying to be funny, but would you also characterize "nature" as being an asshole?
if it was a sentient being making the choices - yes.
Gotcha. I guess I don't really see "God" as a sentient being exclusively, so applying characteristics to him has always been a challenge.
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Good point about teeth but what about cancer?
You know what it is?
The "infinite growth" wire was incorrectly attached to the "various cells" port instead of "teeth".
Classic mistake.
Well can they fucking fix it already, not that hard to push a hotfix every millennium or so
They were going to but then the players started eating from the debug tree that the devs told them to specifically avoid
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"lol, I'm gonna kill so many kids!"
God's favorite children are the rodents, whose teeth never stop growing. Amen!
I have had this thought with less tism multiple times tbh
Man I love godjaks
Currently experiencing wisdom tooth pain, anon's rage is wholly justified
Why does Jod look like Guilfoyle from Silicon Valley?
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